Five Times Kirsten Felt Like a Good Parent
by FictionInReality
Summary: And one time she knew she was. Fluff.
1. First Day of School

_First Day of School_

She cries on her children's first day of school.

It's not something she can help and it's not something she does consciously. It's just something that happens.

Every year. With every child.

Sandy's tried to rationalize it to her- her boys were a year closer to independence, her baby was a year further from being a baby, and that's why she's so upset.

Each time she leaves a child behind, she wonders if he's right.

But she can't help but wonder which child it's the worst to leave.

She doesn't know if it's worst when she flies back from Rhode Island each year after helping Seth decorate his dorm, knowing she's leaving her baby to fend for himself.

She doesn't know if it's worst when she leaves Sophie at preschool, letting go of her hand and blowing her kisses as her little girl looks nervously around the room, wondering what to do first.

She doesn't know if it's worst leaving Ryan behind at UC Berkeley, though he's only ten minutes away, knowing she never got to worry about him on his first day of preschool. She hadn't had enough time to cry and fuss over him.

Ryan and Sophie have tried to comfort her. Three-year-old Sophie hugs her and kisses her and tells her, "Mommy, I'll be back later. We can play together later. Don't be sad, mommy." Ryan hugs her and tells her much of the same, if in his own way,

"Kirsten, I'll be home on weekends. You can feed me until my clothes no longer fit on Saturday. I promise I'll be back in five days."

Seth pretends as though he's embarrassed, but when his father, brother, and sister leave the room and it's only he and his mother left, he hugs her and kisses her cheek, makes no promises to come home on weekends, explains that it's a part of life but he'll call her daily, schedule permitting.

Kirsten rolls her eyes and he admits, ok, he'll call her every day, schedule or no.

And as each of her children hugs her and whispers, "Please don't cry. I love you," she thinks somewhere, somehow, she must've done something right.


	2. Family Dinner

_Family Dinner_

She sits at one end of the dining room table and Sandy sits across from her, looking very much the head of the household with his carving knife and oversized portions. Sophie sits to her left, dwarfed both by her oversized chair and her curly-haired brother sitting by her side. To Kirsten's right, and immediately across from Sophie, is her middle child who, she knows by way of the vibrations they're making, is repeatedly kicking his siblings in a battle of wills to see who can keep the quietest.

Under the table, her children all act as children, but above the table, at least two behave as adults, discussing payment for college and dates and roommates.

The adult conversation doesn't interest the little girl, and she quickly grows fidgety.

"Sophie, sit still," Kirsten reprimands lightly, pouring the tiny blonde more juice.

Sophie scrunches up her face but does as she's told and leans back into her seat.

Kirsten turns to ask Seth a question and as they talk, she notices Sophie begin to giggle. She glances at the little girl and notes that she's looking across the table, presumably at Ryan.

Kirsten turns to her middle son to find him eating his chicken angelically.

To her left, Sophie's giggles grow exponentially and she turns to find the little girl laughing in Seth's direction.

Still, her eldest mimics his brother and only responds with a too-polite, "Yes, mother?"

This continues for two more minutes before Kirsten grows weary,

"Boys!"

Her sons both turn to face her with twin mischievous grins,

"Yes?"

"What are you two doing?"

"Nothing, mother," they chime together, and Kirsten sighs; sometimes, she knows, her boys feel the need to remind her they are not yet men.

She chokes back a smile and notices Sandy coughing to cover a laugh, and they go back to discussing the issues Julie had been having with Dylan's separation anxiety.

But seconds pass and Sophie begins to giggle again and Kirsten turns quick enough to find Seth, mouth full of half-chewed food, sticking his tongue out at his younger sister.

"Seth Ezekiel!" she chastises and Seth chokes back his food. Sophie laughs into her fist and Kirsten glares at her eldest, "Don't teach her that! That's disgusting!"

"Sorry mom," he coughs out, wiping at the tears in his eyes.

No one says anything for another moment or so and once again, Dylan's separation anxiety becomes the primary topic of discussion.

Time passes and Sophie begins to laugh again, this time trying desperately to cover herself by pressing a hand against her mouth.

Kirsten turns to her middle son to find the blonde boy makes faces at his sister from across the table, his eyes crossed and his tongue hanging out of his mouth.

"Ryan! Stop that!"

His eyes return to normal and refocus, and he turns to Kirsten,

"Sorry, Kirsten."

"Ryan, do it again!" Sophie's tiny voice encourages from somewhere within her oversized chair.

"No, Sophie! That's dangerous! Do you want Ryan's eyes to get stuck like that?"

"Oh, Kirsten," Ryan laughs, "don't tell her that!" he turns to his sister, "It won't happen, Soph. That's just something mommies tell kids so they won't do it."

"Ryan!"

"What? It's true!"

By now, Seth and Sophie are convulsing with laughter, their arms over their stomachs as they chuckle freely. Kirsten looks to Sandy for assistance to find him laughing as well,

"Sandy!"

"I'm sorry, honey…"

Ryan finally gives into the laughter evident in his eyes and Kirsten sits back for a moment, watching her family lose all control and shake with glee.

Sophie's tiny _hee-hee_ clashes with Ryan's _huh-huh_ and Seth's _heh-heh_ mixes with Sandy's _ha-ha_ and Kirsten, herself, finally gives up and chuckles along with her family.

The laughter rings musically in her ears and she knows that maybe, just maybe, they've finally found home.


	3. Roughhousing

_Roughhousing_

It took her a while to get used to the _crash_, _bang_ of having two teenage boys in the house.

It wasn't what she had imagined the first time she'd gotten pregnant, and certainly it wasn't what she imagined when a young Seth began showing more interest in books and music than sports.

But then again, she also hadn't pictured adopting a teenager into her family years later.

So when Ryan finally became comfortable in the Cohen household, he and Seth began to attack each other physically when they felt the situation called for it.

Seth would throw a ball at Ryan to distract him when they were playing video games, Ryan would smack Seth in the head when he made a rude comment. Kirsten didn't appreciate it and she often tried to stop it, but they'd return to their playful violence as soon as her back was turned.

Sandy had called it "brotherly ribbing," and Kirsten originally felt comfort in the fact that they were finally brothers and were openly admitting it (if only through wrestling).

But as the boys grew older, the ribbing grew less and less, and Kirsten was blatantly relieved that she no longer had to worry about her two sons giving each other concussions.

When Sophie was born, the boys showed just how gentle they could be. They held her and cooed at her, fed her bottles and let her know just how much they loved her.

Kirsten was amazed at this newly-civil side to her sons and was glad to see that as Sophie got older, the boys still remained her loyal servants. They are kind and sweet and play Barbies and dress-up with their baby sister, so long as she never tells anyone (Of course she tells her mommy and daddy the first chance she gets).

But still, through the girly side of Sophie Rose, Kirsten reminds herself, she is still a little girl growing up with two brothers, and there must be a rough side in there somewhere. And as her petite blonde daughter grows older, she notices that she often instigates roughhousing with her two big brothers, jumping on their backs or rushing at them headfirst.

Kirsten isn't surprised the day she comes home early from work one summer afternoon to find Ryan and Seth tickling a breathless Sophie on the couch, nor is she surprised when, hidden in a corner to observe the way her children behave out of her sight, she witnesses Ryan flipping Sophie upside-down as Seth grips at her sides.

She grins as all three of her children laugh together and watches intently as her little girl slides down her brother's legs and crawls her way to the floor.

She wonders what will happen next as the five-year-old scrambles to her feet and quickly dashes away from her brothers.

She winces as her little girl slips and falls on her way into the kitchen, and she resists the urge to go help her as her sons run to tend to their sister.

The tears run down Sophie's cheeks as Ryan lifts the little girl and Seth runs into the kitchen, quickly returning with a damp paper towel, a band-aid, and an ice pop.

"Where does it hurt, peanut?" she hears Ryan ask gently, and she watches with interest as Sophie, still in Ryan's arms, points at her scraped right knee.

"Ok," Seth's voice says calmly, "Soph, I'm gonna clean your knee off really quick with this paper towel and then we're gonna put a princess band-aid on, ok? And if you're a big girl, you get this ice pop…" Sophie nods and Seth adds, "and if you're not, Ryan gets it."

She swears she sees Sophie roll her eyes but the gesture is overtaken by a wince of pain on the child's face as she clings tightly to one brother while the other wipes at her knee with a gentle, practiced touch.

Tenderly, Seth puts the band-aid over Sophie's "boo-boo" and hands her the ice pop close to melting in his hand.

And as her three children sit together on the couch, a bandaged Sophie clinging to a serenely whispering Ryan, who kisses her cheek as Seth rubs her back, she wonders when her boys learned to take care of their sister so gently.

That night, when she regales the story to Sandy, he only shrugs and responds,

"I guess they learned that from their mother, huh?"

She grins and tells him she hopes they did.


	4. Family Movie Night

_A/N- Hey guys, I'm SO sorry this took so long to update! School has been crazy lately and finals are in a week and a half, so add to that the fact that my muse seems to have gone somewhere warmer, with less rain, and you have Lindsay not updating this story in a few weeks. But here's the new chapter, and hopefully it won't take so long to update the next one!_

_Family Movie Night_

The times all three of Kirsten's children are home on a Saturday night are few and far between.

Usually, either Seth is at school or Ryan has a date or Sophie has a sleepover at a friend's house.

But today, both boys are on Spring Break, Sophie had had a sleepover the night before, and Taylor was out of town, so Ryan had no one to go out with.

Tonight was Kirsten's night to sit with her children, nag her sons and tickle her daughter, hear them groan and whine and, in the end, laugh and enjoy themselves.

So sitting on the couch, Ryan to her left, Sophie on his lap, Seth spread out on the carpet, and Sandy leaning back in his easy chair, Kirsten is thrilled that everyone seems to be enjoying the viewing of _The Wizard of Oz_.

It's Sophie's first time.

The three-year old enjoys the movie until the Wicked Witch arrives, at which point she turns around in Ryan's arms and buries her face in his chest. He rubs her arms reassuringly and lets her know each time the witch and her flying monkeys disappear.

His arms wrap tightly around her tiny body and he presses a kiss to her head, and Kirsten shoots him a thankful grin.

Seth grins too, but his is mischievous and dangerous as his eyes narrow at his siblings.

"What's the matter, Soph? You don't like your friends? They're monkeys like you!"

Sophie knows her eldest brother is by her middle brother's knees and she swats at his head, coming into contact almost instantly.

Ryan, Kirsten, and Sandy all laugh as Seth rubs at his head and Sophie pleads with Ryan to "make the monkeys go away."

By the end of the movie, Sophie's eyes are blinking sleepily and she's responding in a series of grunts and head movements. It's times like these, Sandy jokes, that Sophie proves she's definitely Ryan's sister.

Sandy takes the little girl in his arms and carries her upstairs as Seth grabs the remote control from his brother. Kirsten's left the room to make popcorn, but she's still near enough to hear Ryan's voice ask indignantly,

"What do you think you're doing?"

She can sense Seth's eyes widening at Ryan as a false sense of strength and power washes over him.

"I want to watch _Spiderman. _It's on TBS… You got a problem with that?" He adds stupidly, and even she can hear the quiver in his voice.

"Well, yeah, I do," Ryan says, snatching the remote back from Seth, "I want to watch the college basketball games."

"Just because it's March Mayhem, Ryan…"

"Madness. Not mayhem, madness." Seth groans audibly and responds,

"Whatever! Go watch in your room!"

"Why don't _you _go watch in _your_ room?"

"Why don't you make me?"

She doesn't know if she should be nervous or amused by the bickering, but nervous ultimately wins out when she hears Seth scream, followed by a loud crash.

She runs into the living room and decides that her life is, unlike basketball, mayhem, not madness.

"What happened?!"

She surveys the scene around her and finds Seth lying spreadeagle on the floor, covered in soda and potato chip crumbs, with Ryan curled into the fetal position next to him, laughing himself into a frenzy.

Seth simply glares at his mother, then points to his brother, and folds two indignant arms over his chest.

"Ryan?"

"Seth, he…" Ryan coughs out between chuckles, "he tried… to hit me… so I threw… a fake punch… ha… and he got so startled… he fell… backwards! He fell… into the table… and knocked down all the… sodas and… chips!" He falls back to convulsing with laughter and their mother quickly runs to help her eldest get up.

"Seth, go get changed. Put those clothes in the kitchen sink so I can pre-wash them. And Ryan, please pick up the garbage from the floor."

Both boys do as they're told, Seth huffing angrily up the stairs and Ryan coughing out a laugh every few seconds from the living room.

Kirsten takes the remote control and flips to the Food Network and waits as her boys slowly finish their assigned chores and each take up half the overstuffed couch.

"What's this?"

"Something on cake decorating."

They shrug and settle into the seat and before she can bat an eye, Kirsten's fallen asleep in Sandy's easy chair.

When she wakes up and glances at the clock, it's 12:15, and both boys are asleep on the couch. She grins at how Ryan's lips are pursed tightly together while Seth is mumbling in his sleep.

Even, dreaming, they can't help being who they are.

She stretches and stands up, grabbing two of the three fleece throws from over the chair and places the blue one over Seth, leaning down to kiss his forehead. He doesn't move, but grins in response.

Taking the green fleece, she gently places it over Ryan, bending down to kiss him but stopping halfway.

"Time 'sit?" Ryan's sleepy voice inquires.

"Late. Go back to sleep."

"K… Night."

"Night, sweetie. I love you."

"Love you, too, mom."

Never before had she been so thankful for cake decorating.


	5. Graduation

_Graduation Day_

It doesn't really surprise Kirsten that it's more difficult to get her twenty-two-year-old son into a suit than it is to get her four year old daughter into a dress.

Sophie likes dressing up. She likes being a princess and she likes being told how pretty she looks in her pink frills.

Seth likes pajama bottoms.

But Kirsten won't stand for it. It's his brother's college graduation, she insists, and he cannot be dressed in sweats for family photographs. Besides, she points out, Ryan had worn a suit for Seth's graduation the week before.

"But mom," Seth argues, "Do you really think Ryan wants us looking so fancy? People will stare."

It's a half hour and three threats to cut up all of Seth's pajama bottoms before four of the Cohens, dressed and ready, pile in the care.

Ryan's meeting them there.

They arrive at a large park Berkeley's graduating class has chosen and they find the spot easily, thousands of proud parents mulling by the collapsible chairs.

They spot Ryan towards the front of the queue of graduates awaiting their entrance and Sandy pulls out his phone, dialing Paul Glass. Kirsten hears Sandy exchange pleasantries with the man, but it's obvious when Sandy gets handed over to Ryan.

The whole family is frustrated with the school's "no cellphones at graduation" policy for graduates, but they feel privileged to have an in with Paul so as to keep in touch with Ryan.

"Ryan! Hey!... You nervous?... No, it'll be over before you know it… Well, we can see you… Yeah… Ok… I'm proud of you, son… Ok, here's Seth."

Seth grabs the phone and even from hundreds of feet away, Kirsten can see Ryan's eyes rolling at his brother's ramblings.

"Yeah, man, a suit and tie… You did _not_ wear one to mine… Whatever, she's your mom too… Anyway, I saved our Pokemon Stadium battle for later…" Kirsten shook her head; her two college-graduate sons had recently discovered Seth's Nintendo 64 in the attic and had spent the better part of their downtime playing old Pokemon games. Debate had already begun over which boy would take the console to graduate school the next year. Seth continued, "Ok, the midget's pulling my arm out because she wants to talk to you. Here she is."

The small girl smacks her brother's arm and pulls the phone from his hand, declaring, "I'm not a midget!" before turning her attention to the phone.

"Ryan!" Sophie squeals, "Ryan, Seth is so mean. Will you tell him to stop calling me 'midget?'… Yes you can. Hit him, Ryan! Then he'll listen… Ok… Ok, Ryan… Ryan, guess what I'm wearing… My new pink dress," she turns to Sandy, "Daddy, pick me up so Ryan can see me… please," Sandy chuckles and lifts the little girl, who waves frantically at her brother, "See me, Ryan I see you!... Look, Ryan, daddy's holding me!... You see me now?... Yeah?..." Kirsten taps Sophie on the shoulder and motions for the child to hand her the phone, "K, Ryan, mommy wants to talk to you… Do a good job walking up to get your explodema!... K, I love you too. Here's mommy."

Kirsten takes the phone and pats Sophie's head gently.

"Hello?" comes Ryan's voice, soft and obviously overwhelmed.

"Hi, sweetheart. How are you?"

"Nervous." She grins and watches from her seat as he raises a hand to his hair and brushes his bangs back,

"That's normal."

"Seth wasn't nervous."

"Seth's not normal."

Seth voices his protest and Sophie, Sandy, and Ryan all laugh, but Ryan pauses and Kirsten grows concerned.

"Ryan? You all right?"

"Yeah," he responds, "Yeah, I just… I don't want to be so close to the front of the line."

"Well, you've got two last names to choose from, and they're both in the beginning of the alphabet.

"I can't be Ryan Young-Zwerling?"

"Sorry, you're out of luck."

"Damn."

"Yeah."

A voice breaks through the connection and Ryan speaks up,

"Ok, Kirsten, I've got to go. They're lining us up."

"Ok. Good luck. I love you!" She grins as he responds without pause,

"I love you too. Bye."

It's about five minutes before the UC Berkeley class finally makes their entrance, and Kirsten feels herself swell with pride.

Watching Seth graduate the week before, she had been sure her heart couldn't get any fuller. No more pride, no more joy, no more love could possibly fit.

But again she's proven wrong as Ryan, clad in black robes, is paraded out and takes his seat.

Tears well in her eyes as his name is called, and his cheeks flush as the Cohens cheer louder than any other family.

An hour later, when the family has reconvened at home, both boys hold their diplomas proudly and present Sophie with a "World's Best Sister" award.

Kirsten takes a picture.

She plans to add it to their collection of portraits above the mantle.

And as her sons proudly hang their college degrees below their degrees from high school, she wonders what path she had accidentally stepped down to guide her to this moment.


End file.
